Are You Tired Of Getting Beat Up By Love?

Knocked Out By Love.jpg

Tired of getting beat up by love?

Then let it go. Consider it a Love TKO.

Those are the words of Teddy Pendergrass. No truer words were ever spoken about relationships gone bad. “Let it Go”. Take the ass whopping and keep it moving. Don’t hang around and keep taking the beatings. If you do, then maybe your more broken the person committing the abuse.

No one would attempt to drive a car with three flat tires, because they know that such a car wouldn’t go anywhere. Yet many people try to drive a relationship that has three, something four flat tires.

A relationship that is totally broken down and going nowhere. When all the air and all of the love has been let out of the relationship, it will be flat lined, dead,then its time to scrap it.

There are some cases that might be worth saving and other that should be exited with the speed of a gazelle running for it’s life. Love isn’t supposed to be painful. People don’t have to hurt each other in the name of love, that is a choice that is consciously made.

Considering that there are so many ways to love someone in moments of stress and strife, resorting to abuse is the cowardly way. Abuse of any form is the lowest form of communication, it’ barbaric and in humane. Physical abuse is the worst of all.

If your being knocked out by love, that isn’t love, that’s something else and you are calling it love. Love don’t love nobody and love don’t hurt nobody.

Don’t blame love for your bad judgement.

Swim to shore, live to love another day


At what point do you jump off of a sinking ship? There is an old custom of the captain going down with the ship. I actually get it. It speaks to the captains commitment to his crew and the ship.

As a leader I believe I should “Take one for the team”. There is also a line where my self preservation genes kick in and I start swimming for the shore.

I have noticed that many people stay on sinking ships until the water is up to their nose. Most of the time these people aren’t the captain of these ships, yet they remain until their demise.

What’s more alarming is that these individuals are extremely apathetic towards their situation. Not only are they choosing to stay on the sinking ship, they most often deny that the ship is sinking, or even worse, just don’t give a damn.

I see this phenomena in romantic relationships all the time. Some people will stay in abusive, unhealthy, dysfunctional, or unhappy relationships and do little to nothing to make them better.

The just sit there like Leonardo Dicaprio in the final scene of the Titanic, accepting there downfall as if they have no option.

As long as one can breath and think, there are options. I’m here to tell you that the pain and fear of jumping ship from an atrocious relationship, is always less than the pain and suffering of staying and drowning to death.

If your relationship is sinking, do all that you can to repair it before you jump ship.

Swim to shore, live to love another day.



What Is Love?


What is love?

A wise man once told me that love is the desire to benefit others at ones owns expense and that the opposite of love is to benefit ones self at the expense of others.

I mapped this definition of love on to my life and I quickly realized that I have rarely loved anyone to that degree and I have seldom experienced being loved to that degree. It occurred to me that most people are incapable of loving n such a way.

The few times that I either experienced or witnessed this type of love was, within families, churches and a few organizations that are committed to making a difference in the world.

A few things about this were alarming to me. First of all I believe that love is the number one thing people want in this world. Secondly the individuals that we revere and admire the most in the world exemplify this type of love, yet very few people follow there lead.

The three best examples of this are Jesus, Ghandi, and Martin Luther King Jr. These are three individuals that sacrificed their personal desires to benefit the others. Because they were able to love to that degree, they have forever become immortalized as idols of love and progression for humanity.

The question then is why isn’t the world filled with people like Jesus, Ghandi and MLK? It’s clear that the masses love them for their ability to love others unselfishly. So why hasn’t love become the driving force of the world?

It occurs to me that more people admire and emulate the wealthy, particularly entertainers and successful business people. To me it looks like most people are willing to make major scarifies in order to gain material possession and money and are afraid to do the same in the name of love.

If it’s true that love is that ultimate prize of life, then why are we so obsessed with money, knowing that money cant buy love? Everywhere I look I see someone doing something to make money or telling others how to make money. I rarely see people or organizations devoted to creating and generating love in the world.

Now I want to get a bit personal with you. How much of your personal desires would you sacrifice to benefit others? How much time to you spend it pursuit of material gain? Did you go to college to learn how to love people or make money? Do you have more love or money in your life? Beyond your family, what are you doing to benefit others?

Our obsession with money over love is the reason the world looks the way it does. This is all just my opinion, it’s not the truth. If you agree then say so, if you disagree then tell me why.

What is you definition of love and are you living up to what you believe?




My mother used to collect butterfly nick nacs., and butterfly pictures. I remember looking at them as a child and wondering what would it be like to be a butterfly. At that time it was just because I thought butterflies were colorful, pretty and they could fly. Know I love butterflies more than ever and it’s for a totally different reason. I love butterflies because I believe that a butterfly represents the highest level of transformation that exists in this world.

I find it amazing that a creepy crawling, six-legged worm, could one day become a beautiful insect blessed with the gift of flight. What more could one ask for than to be a beautiful flying insect. It doesn’t get much better than that.

I’m sure most of you can understand what it might feel like to be amazingly beautiful to everyone. Just as well for most people it easy to imagine how great it would be to fly.  I won’t speak so confidently about our desire to be an insect. Either way all of these points are for another conversation. For now let’s assume that a butterfly has a great life, because that how it occurs to me.

What’s even more amazing than the metamorphosis of a caterpillar to a butterfly is the unawareness of the caterpillar of what’s to come? A caterpillar has no idea of just how great it’s life will soon become. A caterpillar can’t imagine all of the experiences it will have as a butterfly. A caterpillar has no idea how much it will be adored as a butterfly. A caterpillar it totally clueless that as a butterfly it will represent many things to many people rounds the world, all of them being positive.

To some a butterfly represents hope, for others it represents the soul man. In some cultures a butterfly symbolizes love, rebirth and in other good luck.  I believe that the reason that people love butterflies so much is because we know that used to be caterpillars. We all secretly wish we could transform ourselves like a butterfly.

For me a butterfly represents what’s possible for all life, amazing transformation to beautiful creatures that are loved by all living things. (World Peace) Some say that I’m a dreamer, but I not the only one.

I don’t want to be a butterfly; I want to have that degree transformation in my life. I spent over 30 years hoping, wishing and begging for someone to give me a cocoon. Then I realized that I had to make my own cocoon. I’m writing you this post from inside my cocoon. My wings have broken out; I’m just about ready to fly. I had a wish come true, I have transformed myself

So far my transformation has been the best part of my life, wait til I get my wings!


I Gonna Fly!



Questions for Love from If3 (Mcfarlane & Saywell)


If you were to confess the most embarrassing moment in your sexual history, what would it be?

If you were to pick the greatest single day in your sexual history, what would it be?

If you had to name the nationality who make the best lovers, in your experience, what you say?

If you could return the love of someone you rejected in the past, who would it be?


What’s there for you right now? Don’t resist it, break on through, to the other side.r

Valentines Day Tractor Pull!



Didn’t that capture you attention. A Valentine Day Tractor Pull sounds like it might be the best thing to ever happen on Valentines Day. One thing for sure it would get a lot of men interested in Valentines Day.

Here’s a small glimpse of how it would go. It would be a lot like tractor pulls are right now, except totally different. The VD Tractor Pull, would be super hot chicks only, with Daisy Duke outfits and hollywood hair. They all would drive super up girly looking trucks, with all the trimming, bells and whistles that appeal to woman. Plus all of the hot chicks would have regular guys for boyfriends and husbands. The object of the The VD Tractor Pull would be to see which driver could collect the most garden tools in the least amount of time.

Next on my list to fancy up this stale holiday, is a new reality show. This show would be about men who really love Valentines Day, so much that they have many valentines. The show would be called The VD Awards, Prizes would be given to the men who were able to best manage their valentines. There would be several awards categories for these lovers of Valentines Day. Sounds awesome doesn’t it?

This would no doubt inspire millions of men to take a new approach to Valentines Day. I know I’m ready to buy my tickets for the VD Tractor Pull.

What are your ideas on how spicy up Valentines Day for men?


Was today a holiday? I almost forgot it’s REVALUATION TIMES DAY!



That’s how it occurs to me right now. It appears that some people (mostly women) use Valentine’s day to gauge the love of their mate, more than any other day of the year, even there anniversary.

Somehow we have made Valentines Day the official day for couples to evaluate their relationship, and it has been cleverly disguised as a holiday of love.

It once was a holiday of love, before we had any idea of what love was. Once we figured out what love was, or what we thought love was, Valentines Day went from something we couldn’t wait to experience , to something that make men run for the hills and when cringe with joyous anticipation and impending doom. It wasn’t always that way.

When I was in middle school I remember one Valentines Day I got 12 cards form different girls in my classes, plus another three from my teachers. I thought I was the shit! 12 girls at school all wanted me to be there valentine. “You couldn’t tell me nothing.”

I took those cards home and taped them to my wall in my bed room over my bed, and stared at them for several weeks until I took them down.I shared a room with my younger brother, I loved rubbing this in my brothers face, cause he only got three valentines day cards from girls.

I thought this really meant something, Believing that 12 different girls were in love with me was a really good feeling, even when on some level I knew I didn’t really know what love was. It truly was a good feeling.

Now fast forward to adulthood. I have to ask the men to work hard to stay present after this next line. Imagine if you got twelve valentine day cards as an adult. Men and woman imagine if you had twelve people in love with you. Imagine just believing that you have 12 people in love with you. Imagine having 12 people chasing you. Imagine 12 woman in your class, all liking you. Imagine 12 woman at your job all wanting you. Does any of this sound exciting to you?

If it does consider yourself a drama king or drama queen. 12 woman doing anything to me all at the same time is really scary. I have thought of every possible scenario and none of them have a happy ending.

Me and 12 beautiful, playboy bunny woman get stranded on an island, I’m dead. 12 woman and me on a board or committee, I’m invisible. 12 woman and me at a party, I get no peace. It never shows up good.

12 woman buy me Valentines Day gifts and I have a girlfriend or wife, really not good. BAD EVALUATION! It will take about 12 months of counseling to work thru something that came up on some holiday that I didn’t even like in the first place.

So let me leave you with this. Valentine Day wasn’t intend to be what it has become to be. If you need Valentines Day to know that your significant other loves you, it’s going to take more than some made up holiday, candies and flowers to get your relationship in order.

What does Valentines Day mean to you?

Tune in tomorrow and hear my new idea for Valentines Day. I have an Idea that might make it fun for men at least.