Insider or Outsider? Where is your focus?


Remember that movie The Outsiders”, Wow, what a great movie.  I don’t remember much about the movie What I do remember is that it was a really good movie and it has a lot of now famous actors in it. I also know that this blog  has absolutely nothing to do with the movie, I was just sharing a random thought with you.

I know I’m not the only person who looks at some of the things that we do in this world and say “WTF”. I know I ‘m not the only one who looks at the world and says, “Where is the Love?”  No way can I be the only one that believes there is a better way for us to live. I hope I’m not the only one that wants to cry,help, scream, do something every time they see a homeless person asleep on the sidewalk.

If you feel me so far then please keep reading.

It occurs to me that we are very focused on the outward appearance of the world and less concerned with the inward conditions that exist.It occurs to me that for most of us, including yours truly, it is more important to look good , than to feel good. I have pretended to be ok, until I fell out on the floor. “I’m ok…..I’m ok……I told you, for real I’m ok…….” BAMN! I hit the floor. I was able to keep  my identity  together until my body collapsed. I’m referring to a time when I was really sick and I kept going to work and working. I was pretending like I was strong enough to handle anything without any help. My little game of make believe ended with me being rushed to the hospital.

It was so important for me to keep up my outward appearance to the world, that I totally neglected the inner conditions of my body. I didn’t want to be perceived as weak. In an effort to not seem weak, I was weakening my myself. I was actually creating the very situation I was trying so hard to avoid by trying to pretend I had no concern around the situation. It was my inauthenticity around my health and needing help, that cause my health to fail to the point that I need help.  It was my inauthenticity that generated my insecurity.

When you are not straight with yourself about the reality of something, you will have insecurities around that thing. When you accept things as they are, your perception of life will shift. You will experience life as less threatening and more connected. You will experience more freedom than ever before.

This can be achieved by shifting your focus of life to an ” inward approach” vs the , now more popular, “outward approach”. To put it another way, deal with what is going on inside of you and share that authentically with the world.

So what is going on inside you, for real? What are you really dealing with? What are the things you hide from your family and friends, in order to maintain your outward appearance? Are you holding on to your identity until the very last moment. Are you afraid of what others would think of you if they knew your true thoughts and feelings? You probably then spend a lot of time and energy maintaining your outer world image and maintaining your inner conditions. I bet it’s driving you insane. Stop it now.

When you spend more time focused on the outside, the inside will soon fall apart. When the inside falls apart, there is little to no peace and happiness in your life. People are going to think what they think, regardless of what you want them to think. You can’t control what other people think, so why do spend time worrying about it and trying to influence it. Just you be you and do what you do.

Focus on your inside and the outside will be ok. Life doesn’t work the other way around.