Do you love for free or require a fee?
Are you the type of person that gives love freely or do you require a fee for your love? In your relationships do you love freely or do you wait until the other person earns your love or meet some list of requirements?
I have experienced relationships with both types of people and I prefer free love, because that’s want I choose to give. I’ve dated some woman who tell me that they can’t completely love me until I meet some list of requirements. I have also had relationship where the woman gave me as much love as she could from the very beginning.
I don’t want to withhold my love, because the other person withholds their love. I have been taking a look at my behavior around giving love and want to make a change. I want to be someone who loves freely to everyone all the time.
I realized that the reasons that I withhold my love aren’t reason enough to deny myself the experience of love. It has become very clear that love is generated more in the giving than in receiving. I know for some of you this is hard to believe, so let me throw some proof at you.
The first most obvious example is in raising children. Most parents have undying, unconditional love for their children. Most parents would do almost anything in the world for their children. They will work two jobs, sometimes jobs they hate. They will sacrifice their wishes and dreams in order to support their children in their hopes and dreams. Parents will clean up vomit, poop, pee for their children. Parents will do these things and so much more for their children, all while the children do little to nothing for the parents.
You would be hard pressed to find a hard working parent that wouldn’t confess to loving their children to death. Parents even love kids that are bad and or down right lazy and selfish. Why because love is giving more than it is receiving.
This is also the case with pets. People love their pets, often like they are children. Pet owners will go to extremes at times to make their pets comfortable and happy no matter how much havoc their pets bring into there lives. Because love is in the giving more than it is in the receiving.
Sometime this can be seen in the way we adorn our material possessions. Who among us doesn’t know at least one man who loves his car like it was a living thing. In those “man and his car” relationships, the car doesn’t actually take any actions to please the man, yet he loves his car like a love song. Because love is in the giving of oneself.
So why is it that some people either don’t get this or don’t believe this? I believe it’s because they have tried it and didn’t get the love they wanted in return or because they don’t believe it will work. Either way they are limited by fear, which ironically is the opposite of love.
So the way I see it, either you’re in love or you’re in fear, there isn’t much in between, but a small space of indifference. So take a look at how you love others or how you fear others. You always have the power to choose love or fear.
If you’re not feeling love, is because you’re not giving love. It’s that simple.
I challenge each of you to see how much free love you can generate. Beside how can you place a fee on an intangible thing such as love or happiness.